Miss是一個在英語非常常用的字。除了常用作對女士的稱呼如Miss Chan、Miss Lewis,Miss 也有錯過、錯失的意思。「Dad had missed the last flight to Belgium the previous evening.(爸爸昨晚錯過了最後一班前往比利時的航班。)」當然還有想念、掛念「I miss you.(我想念你。)」「I miss the days when we were not required to hide behind the ubiquitous masks.(我實在懷念我們不需要佩戴及躲藏在口罩背後的日子。)」
錯過和想念,真的有着微妙的關係。因為錯失了,所以才會掛念,還是我們總是選擇懷念一些錯過了的人和事?
Some say "out of sight, out of mind", while others see "absence makes the heart grow fonder." (有人認為不見面可以令人容易忘記一切,但有人又認為小別勝新婚,不見面令思念倍增。)掛念是既甜蜜又痛苦的經歷(a bittersweet experience),令我想起有四類人是最常令我們想念不已、朝思暮想的,不知你又會否同意?
·Missing someone who passed away(想念已去世的人 )
The loss of a loved one is an eternal missing.(極度想念他們因為你知道永遠也不能再和他們見面。)和離世的人相隔的感覺,就像年輕印度裔加拿大詩人Rupi Kaur 提到︰「You're everywhere except right here and it hurts.(你無處不在,可是卻不在這裏,這是令人傷心的。)」
·Missing people who are far away from you physically(想念遠方的人,因為他不在你身邊或你不在他身邊)
年多以來的疫情,令這類牽腸掛肚的人不斷增加,「I wish you were here.(希望你在這裏。)」「When you are gone, nothing feels right until you return.(當你不在的時候,所有事情也感到不爽。)」「You have been running through my head all night.(你在我腦海中縈繞不去。) 「I am counting down the days until I see you again.(我每天在倒數着下一次再見你的日子。)」
·Missing people you want to forget or you no longer want in your life (令我們思念但又不敢思念的人)
或許飽受失戀(broken hearts)或單戀之苦的人(lovesick or unrequited lovers)會認同。Let go of the one you love and set them free. Miss them quietly from a distance rather than let them know and get no response. It's not worth the time. (與其衝動地冒險去碰一鼻子灰,再三浪費光陰自討沒趣,倒不如靜靜地遠觀思念愛慕的人。)
·Missing people you see and are with every day(想念和你每天見面和在一起的人)
最後這種聽起來很矛盾卻又真實不過的關係。Do tell them we love and miss them, while we can. 細想如果我們每天也主動想念珍惜眼前的一切事物與人物,將來在處理以上三種思念的情況也相對容易了,起碼少了後悔和錯過的機會。
如果未能解決相思或單思之苦,不解決可能是另類的解決方法。If you can't let someone out of your mind, let them stay. Maybe they are supposed to be there. (若然我們真的不能徹底忘記他們,便乾脆輕鬆讓他們留在我們腦海中生活中。)Time heals all wounds.(時間會治療一切傷痛。)
●翁菁慧博士 香港恒生大學英文系講師
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