One day a cannibal was sitting at a bar, drinking his usual beer. A friend of his came up to him and asked, "Well how did it go? "
Yes! It was a good holiday. My wife and I had a very good time. Then, his friend looked at him worryingly, "What happened, where is your other leg? "
Oh, he replied casually, "The holiday was half board that's why!"
While in surgery following a heart attack, a middle-aged woman sees a vision of God by her bedside.
"Will I die?" She asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So, while in the hospital, she gets a face-lift, breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants and collagen injected into her lips. She looks great! The day she was discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 years more to live!" "That's true," says God.
"So, what happened?"
God shrugs, "I didn't recognize you."
Hit by一詞是指被物體（通常是汽車）撞倒。另一方面，Discharged即完全康復後醫生批准患者出院。Swagger則指女人走路時大搖大擺，就如故事中的女士，因自己變得美麗而感到驕傲，自信地走着。而face-lift、breast implants、liposuction等等都是不同種類的外科整形手術名稱。
本文標題的「on the house」，則意味着免費贈送、不必付款。就如這句例子：Please accept this bottle of wine on the house as an apology. （請接受這支免費的紅酒，當作我們的賠禮。）